The Necessity of Godly Friends

“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends?” C. S. Lewis [i]

It’s Wednesday night and per usual I am sitting on our church’s patterned, cushion chair connected to a sea of others in my church’s sanctuary.

“Okay, you can split into your groups now,” says the teacher after giving us a recap on Sunday’s sermon. At the word everyone once seated stands up to find their prayer group. Everything is pretty routine. 

I eye which girls are present, prayer sheet in hand, and make my way towards our weekly meeting spot—twenty steps to my right. When Alli, Ellie, Sammi, Janaya, and Anna are settled we open up about how God is working in our lives, about our week, and how we need prayer. 

Our weekly meeting time is routine but essential with our individual walk with God and it also deepens our relationship with one another.

The Wednesday night prayer meeting is just one example of how my friends and I pour into one another spiritually.

Since Jesus is the center of my life he bleeds through all of the other areas of my life—including my friendships. My friends don’t act like “good Christians” on Sundays and ditch religion for the rest of the week. That is not the Christian life. God is our life for scheduled prayer meetings and in the mundane daily rituals.

Coffee, Texts, and Walks

God is brought in the daily interactions with my friends. He has been brought in on a weekday morning with a friend at the Washington Coffee. He is there when we mention life’s highs and lows, our weekly plans, and what we are learning from His Word. He is there when my phone dings and an encouraging message pops up. God is present on an October walk with a friend and his goodness is more colorful than the autumn leaves.

When you are basked in fellowship with God, fellowship with other believers only intensifies His richness. He will always be my best friend which only makes my earthly friendships sweeter.

Worldly Friendships vs. Eternal Friendships

The vast majority of the people, the Walmart employee, the elementary school student, the dog mom, all have friends. Friendship is displayed at restaurants, the movie theatre, the park, and the pickleball court.

So is there any difference between the worldly friendships unbelievers possess and the friendships Christians enjoy?

Absolutely!

God is good and bathes all of his creation, believer and unbeliever alike, with his common grace. This earth has many pleasures, and this includes the companionship of other people. However, worldly friendships fail to compare to the depth and beauty a Christian has with other believers.

“God is brought in the daily interactions with my friends.”

A friendship not planted in God will be rooted in earthly pleasures.

The Christian’s friendship with other believers will be centered on the Lord, looking at him in the present while anticipating the future promise of eternal life.

Here are five things that the Christian can experience in his friendships:

1. You don’t feed on the temporary but chase after the eternal.

“As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:18)

The believer will enjoy the temporary but that is not where their hope is secure. 

So yes, converse about your books and the football scores and the new clothes you purchased, but do not allow those things to be your identity.

The temporary is fully enjoyed in friendship but not without the filter of what is ahead. As friends redeemed by the blood of Christ, you both have the same goal and are promised the same prize–eternity with Christ.

2. You are carrying one another’s burdens.

“Bear another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2)

Life can be hard with many trials and the need for community is real. I can personally attest to the blessing of having Christian friends in the midst of a difficult storm. Texts, calls, meals, or visits displaying a friend’s care are some of the greatest gifts during the struggle.

Recently I was fighting the battle of anxiety. The constant flow of “what if” scenarios was zipping through my mind and the attacks were tiring. While my friends couldn’t fully alleviate that burden for me, they were so supportive when I texted them and shared my struggle in my prayer group. By God’s grace, my anxiety was overcome and I often think about my friends who prayed for me and pointed me to the Lord.

3. You encourage one another.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Heb. 10:24-25)

Encourage your friends when you see growth, when you see your friends persevere, or even when they are battling with sin. Look for opportunities to uplift instead of criticize. Yes, rebuking may be necessary at times but let it always be soaked in biblical love and humility.

“The believer will enjoy the temporary but that is not where their hope is secure.”

Seek out opportunities and be intentional in encouraging your friends.

Surely you have been encouraged before. Do you remember how refreshing it felt? Encouraging words are a balm that soothes the soul.

4. You sharpen one another.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Prov. 27:17)

Godly friendships will sharpen one another. All believers are enduring a refinement process called sanctification. 

Justification is the starting line of when you become a believer. Glorification is the finish line of our time on earth but the start of eternal life in God’s presence. Sanctification can be seen as the worthwhile but strenuous race from point A to point B. This process is beautiful because we can see a transformation from being sinners to resembling more of who God is.

Christian friends should be a key element in our sanctification process. Other racers are running alongside you and you can encourage one another while you are journeying.

The sharpening process is not necessarily comfortable. There may be times your friends reveal when you are being selfish and arrogant. There may be times when your good friends chisel away at your comfort and the wound stings. The best of friends will love you and point you to the One who loves you the most.

I personally had an occurrence when a friend confronted me about a time I had gossiped about another individual. To be honest, the moment was slightly awkward and my comfort bubble popped. Although, she was a good friend and I often think about the time when my sister was bold enough to confront me. Thanks to her obedience God used her to help lead me to repentance.

“Christian friends should be a key element in our sanctification process.”

You can serve a friend in this way if the Holy Spirit is prodding you to confront another person. Pray for wisdom and love before you have this good but uncomfortable conversation.

5. You are sisters before you are friends.

“For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.” (Gal. 3:26)

If you and your friend are both believers, remember that you are both a part of God’s redemptive family. You, through Christ, have been grafted together as sisters. You and other believers will spend eternity together in the holy presence of God.

This earth presents only a sliver of the pleasures of the kingdom of God.

As you and your friends are passing through this life, be reminded and encouraged of the eternity that awaits you. Work hard, enjoy your friendships, and embark on trips knowing that this is not your home. Your bond is deeper than any worldly friendship because you both have been bought by the sacrifice of Christ.

May you and your friendships be an example of what a relationship rooted in the Gospel looks like. Let the world witness your friendship and wonder why you radiate so much light—something that may be beautifully unfamiliar to them. May you, as sisters in Christ, chase after a world slowly dying and share the Gospel.

I hope your sisterhood with one another will grow throughout this present life and still be enjoyed for thousands of years to come.

When God is the Main Fulfiller

The one, key difference between worldly and Christian friendships is God. He makes all the difference.

You don’t seek worldly things to satisfy your relationships. Those things are empty and contentment will never take place. Instead, Christian friendships are fastened to God–the only one who can satisfy. Through all emotions, diagnoses, pleasures, and pain, God can fulfill you and your friendships no matter what you face in this life.

When you are fully fulfilled in Christ you can commune with one another in harmony. God does not promise sunshine and rainbows in this life. Instead, he says the opposite will happen, but he can also provide friends to walk the challenging journey with. Friends who love God like you and will walk with you to the end.

[i] C. S. Lewis. (n.d.). AZQuotes.com. Retrieved February 25, 2026, from AZQuotes.com Web site: https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1255701